When I left school all I wanted was to go to art school and become a designer or maker. Being a therapist felt a million miles away for me as a goal in life. Science was not a strong subject for me at school (nothing was, to be honest) and I could rarely hold a conversation with a stranger as I was so quiet and shy. It hadn't even entered my head to be involved with health as a profession.
At art school I went on to focus on Fashion (which I quickly discovered was not a match for me at all...an air of confidence and competition is the key in that world) so I changed direction and was accepted at the London College of Fashion to train as a costume maker. I did some very exciting film work but focused on working in regional rather than the big theatres as I wanted to avoid feeling I was part of a production line, I wanted to work with designers and experience following the whole process from read throughs to production week. I made and altered costumes, I also dressed wigs, dyed fabric, broke down costumes to make them look lived in and authentic, fitted them on the actors and washed and repaired throughout the run & of course, no matter how shattered I was, I attended first nights exhausted but glowing with pride.
I felt rubbish that I'd spent all that commitment and energy focused on training but I knew I needed to walk away and start a new career and start to feel better about myself.
So. I retrained 20 years ago as a therapist. I originally intended to focus on aromatherapy, but over the years massage has become my big passion.
I am trained by a fantastic teacher/massage therapist & psychotherapist how to communicate really well, how to connect with and support (but not rescue) clients and how to take care of myself...which is quite a significant learning curve for me, and I know I'm not alone in that. What I am really proud of is that I have trained to a really high standard and when my clients tell me our work together makes a difference to them, I feel like a million dollars. I now know why my original profession didn't sit right for me back then. I simply didn't feel I was good enough and I didn't feel an important part of it all. It's a real shame, because, perhaps with all my experience and learning since, I might have really had some fun and enjoyed working as a costume maker, even just as a dresser. I could have travelled the world and gained so much from the fantastic people I would have worked with.
If I hadn't experienced all that anxiety or developed an autoimmune condition, I wouldn't have the insight and experiences to be able to support my clients in the way that I do. I wouldn't change what I do now for the world. Can't wait to get this clinic open when it's safe for us to work together again and continue from where we paused.